- You: Like my shirt?
- Me: Yeah, did you get it 50%?
- You: No, actually I got it 75% off!
- Me (mumbling): Come in my room and I'll make it 100% off...
- You: What?
- Me: It looks nice!
When you’re drunk and it’s late, and you’re missing me like hell, keep it to yourself.
ok new rule: if you’re gonna call me “cute” you have to specify whether you mean “cute like a little girl/baby animal” or “cute enough to bang mercilessly”
i want girls to question their sexuality over me and boys to fear me and animals to love me
if you threw a pad or tampon into a crowd of boys they would probably all scream and it would be like that scene from monsters inc where george gets contaminated by a sock
do you ever pretend like you didn’t see something so the other person doesn’t feel embarrassed
495,571 people whose mama taught them right
I saw a lesbian staring at me at the gym so I had to work twice as hard.