• You: Like my shirt?
  • Me: Yeah, did you get it 50%?
  • You: No, actually I got it 75% off!
  • Me (mumbling): Come in my room and I'll make it 100% off...
  • You: What?
  • Me: It looks nice!

tiredestprincess:

ok new rule: if you’re gonna call me “cute” you have to specify whether you mean “cute like a little girl/baby animal” or “cute enough to bang mercilessly”

(via flowershavenosmell)

plantcreep:

i want girls to question their sexuality over me and boys to fear me and animals to love me

(via mylifeas-bambi)

chidoree:

if you threw a pad or tampon into a crowd of boys they would probably all scream and it would be like that scene from monsters inc where george gets contaminated by a sock

(via mylifeas-bambi)

1nd2rd3st:

ridge:

do you ever pretend like you didn’t see something so the other person doesn’t feel embarrassed 

495,571 people whose mama taught them right

(via flowershavenosmell)

whatsupd0c:

I saw a lesbian staring at me at the gym so I had to work twice as hard.

(via collidingthoughts10)